When I was initially attracting my dream relationship, I wasn’t even aware of the law of attraction or manifestation. I was just aware that I deserved better. I was aware that I had been giving all of myself to people who were giving me half of them, and I knew I deserved more.
When I look back and reflect, I can see how I could have possibly manifested every relationship I’ve ever been in. As a hopeless romantic, I used to give a lot of attention to the idea of my “dream relationship”. As I grew, my idea of a dream relationship altered and changed. When I went through my wattpad, from like 8th-10th grade, the “good girl falls in love with hood booger stage” that was all I thought I wanted. My friends and I would talk about it every single day, tell stories about it, and eventually I attracted that into my life. As I went through different stages in my life, I wanted different things and I got those things in some areas, and the areas I didn’t really focus on when fantasizing were often absent.
I had been heartbroken twice in my high school years. Until my senior year, my relationships never ended because of cheating or anything more than two people just not being right for each other. However, my first two heart breaks were excruciating for me, to say the least. I am a lover-girl. I love to love. I grew up romanticizing. I remember being a little girl being around couple’s, fantasizing about the day that I would be in love. In high school, I experienced loved for the first time and it wasn’t what I needed it to be. After two years of an on and off struggle, it ended badly and my heart was broken. I felt foolish for giving someone who was so unappreciative, all of my heart.
In my next relationship, I finally had met someone who reciprocated the feelings I had… somewhat. But still, we were young, and it wasn’t the right time for us. Our bond was deeper this time, as I was older, and we had done more, built more of a friendship, I was close with his family. So when this relationship ended, I was crushed again. Not understanding how you could mean so much to someone one day, and then within weeks you were just another person to them.
Then my senior year, I really thought I had finally found someone who loved me more than I loved him. I was sure of it. Until I wasn’t. Read my story-time: I caught my ex cheating, for more clarity on that situation. After I had gotten cheated on, I wasn’t heartbroken this time. I was sad, of course. But it had felt different then the pain I had felt for my first two boyfriends. It was different this time because I finally had came to a realization, and I now KNEW that I had been settling for love throughout my entire high school experience. I wanted to feel the love I dreamed about so bad that I was willing to settle in certain ways, and I was honestly just doing a disservice to myself.
This is where the manifestation came in. I began to use my “next boyfriend” as my motivation for not being sad about the last. Every time I would get sad, I would remind myself of all the qualities I didn’t need that my ex lovers possessed, and all of the amazing qualities that my future husband would possess.
I made mental notes. I wanted him to be intellectual; a deep thinker, someone who could teach me new things. Handsome, of course. I wanted to know that he loved me but didn’t put me over his dreams, and aspirations. I WANTED SOMEONE WITH DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS. (This might seem like a given, but I promise you it’s not.) I would consistently remind myself of the various qualities my future husband would have to keep me from feeling uneasy about my past relationships. I promised myself, I wouldn’t get into another relationship until he filled all the boxes on my check list, no exceptions.
After being cheated on, I did consider going back to my ex. A part of me thought about it, but the smarter, more optimistic part of me, spoke some sense into my head by making me forgive, but not forget, and therefor move on. The very words I remember speaking were “I’m going to find someone in college. An educated black man, who puts me on a pedestal.” Any time I got upset or sad, I kept telling myself this over and over. “It’s okay because I’m going to find someone who loves me and appreciates me.” I didn’t sell myself short, and within two months, I had met my current boyfriend, whom I strongly believe to be my soul mate, someone who fills all the boxes on my checklist, and even exceeds them.
I thought that I had been in love before, and I had in some ways, it was a version of love that myself at the time valued. However, my current relationship redefined love for me. It’s more than just butterflies and friendship. It’s about growing, and maintaining, and forgiveness, and patience. It’s about learning who you are, while learning who they are, and appreciating both lessons in the entirety.
So how did I manifest my current relationship? I believed in it. I didn’t settle for what felt comfortable. I knew it was going to come to me and I kept telling myself, until one day I woke up, and met the person who would change my life forever.