1. Everyone isn’t built like you. The fact of the matter is that although you are caring, and put the people you care about on a pedestal, not everyone is the same. Some people could care about you so much and still do you dirty, because at the end of the day they are their priority, and everyone else is expendable. It hurts when you find this out but it’s an eye opener when you stop expecting people to move the way you move. One thing that helps is, don’t do anything because you are expecting a high return. Do out of the kindness of your heart. If you notice you are over exerting and the person is under exerting, move accordingly.
2. Stop making excuses for the people who’ve hurt you. I often find myself hurt by someone, and trying to find an excuse in my mind as to why they have hurt me. “Did I do something?” “They have a lot going on right now.” Stop. You will never know the thought processes that someone who hurts you goes through, unless they tell you. Don’t make excuses for them, if they understand their wrong doings, they will explain their thought process , if not then they are not worth your time.
3. Stop blaming yourself. It’s good to self reflect and wonder what actions you have taken that have caused people to treat you the way they have. However, there is a fine line between questioning and blaming yourself. If you are in the wrong, that’s a different story. However, often times people look for anything to blame themselves for the way people treat you. Stop. Don’t ever blame yourself for being mistreated. You might have played a role but no role is big enough for the disrespect that was brought to you.
4. Learn to forgive without an apology. A lot of people would rather cut you off than apologize for the way they mistreated you. That’s fine. Don’t hold resentment in your heart, it’s heavy, it will weigh you down. When you are ready, have a conversation with yourself, where you let go of all the resentment and move on with your life. When their name is brought up, don’t defame them. Allow them to live their lives as you will do yours. Karma doesn’t miss anyone.
5. Stop explaining yourself to people who don’t care. I am guilty of this. I often explain myself to people over and over again before I end up having to cut them off. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. After the first time you tell someone about themselves, if their actions don’t change, just assume they don’t care. If someone truly regrets their actions it will result in changed behavior. If not, then they simply don’t care.
6. Stop treating people the way you want to be treated, and treat people the way they treat you. This is a big one. Of course, when you first meet someone you should give them your best self. However, after observing their unmatched energy, stop going above and beyond and give that energy to someone who is truly deserving.
7. Forgive but never forget. If a person does apologize, and you guys come to a resolution, it’s always okay to forgive. Don’t forget though. When people show you their true colors, always believe them. They did that shit, so they meant that shit. Don’t ignore the red flags.
8. Remain Solid. Don’t let the incompetence of the people around you result in your personality changing. Having a big heart is a blessing, and there are a lot of people who have them. Just make a mental note of who deserves your heart and who doesn’t. Do not turn your heart off, or let it turn cold because of whose hurt you, because then you are no better than them.
9. Don’t take it personal. Don’t take anything personal. People are going through their own shit, and their actions are a result of that. As long as you did all that you could in a situation, that’s all that matters. Love yourself enough to know when it’s above you.
10. Don’t ever beg anyone to be in your life. When a person shows you how they truly truly feel about you, take it with a grain of salt, chuck up the peace sign and move on. Don’t ever beg anyone to be in your life. Even if you feel like a person is 1 and a million. There is approximately 7.5 billion people in this world. If they are 1 and a million there are still over 7,000 of them. Don’t beg.
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