Blake • Narratives

Chronicles of A Broken Hearted Girl


Milani’s Saturday nights were typically spent inside now. Not because she was sad but because, well to be honest, she was very sad. But this Saturday night her best friend, Adiah made it clear to her “that she had to leave the sad shit at home and channel her inner city girls for the weekend.” She told her to “think less Queen Naija Medicine and more along the lines of “Real Ass Bitch, Give A Fuck Bout A Nigga.” Whatever that even meant??? But that was the thing, Milani did give a F about him. She gave a big F about him and that was probably the biggest downfall of their whole breakup. No matter how hard, she tried she couldn’t stop giving a fuck about him. How was she expected to channel city girls when all she ever knew to be was Ella Mai?

Milani pulled into the long driveway that she had pulled into almost every day for the past several years. As soon as she turned the ignition off, the front door swung open and Damien’s face appeared behind the shadows. She had the familiar feeling where your heart is at the bottom of your chest because the wounds were still fresh, and so was his haircut. Damien was handsome. And he knew that, which was the worst part.

He walked up to her car, and she rolled the window down reactively. He didn’t hesitate to flash her his straight Colgate white teeth, shining vibrantly against his dark chocolate skin before saying:

“Wassup Lani? You good?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” She responded back lying through her teeth. He opened the back door of her 2019 Honda Accord and retrieved their two year old son out of the carseat. After getting his overnight bag from the trunk he walked back over to the driver’s seat window, taking a second to observe his ex girlfriend.

“Bye baby, mommy loves you. Give me kisses.” Milani said interrupting the silence, poking her head out the window with puckered lips.

“Me next?” Damien joked with a serious undertone, holding their son out to kiss Milani, and her heart oozed at the thought of it. Why was he playing with her?

“Goodbye Damien.” She chuckled, brushing him off. The tension in the air you could cut it with a knife. There was so much that was still left to be said. Nobody was putting their pride aside to say it though. And Milani definitely was not going to be the first one. “You Straight?” She asked him.

“I’m always straight. If you good, I’m good.”

Milani couldn’t figure out why boys were so stupid? She often asked herself: Why is it when you break up with someone who had all the opportunities to show you they care about you when you two were IN THE RELATIONSHIP…. DO THEY WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP TO SHOW EMOTION? Get the fuck out of here. Miss me with the bullshit. She thought to herself. Every time she dropped Nolan off, Damien would throw these little subliminal messages that he missed her. . She saw right threw him though. Let’s keep it a stack. If he missed her he would make an actual effort to show her, not just casually throw a few words out when she dropped their son off. He was just trying to fuck with her mind and Milani knew that. Although she would never show it to him… It was working.

“Tell your mom I said hello.” She responded completely disregarding his last comment before backing out of his driveway.

If YoUrE GoOd, I’m GoOd. Eat a dick Damien!!!! Is what she thought to herself on the way to the club. So I guess you’re waiting for the tea? Why did they break up right? Did he cheat? Did they grow apart? Did she cheat? The truth is everything just stopped. It was no growing apart, it was no cheating it was just a whole lot of mixed signals, arguments, and avoidance. It came to a point where every time they were around each other they were at each other’s necks, That was never their vibe though. Milani and Damien had been best friends since 7th grade, started dating sophomore year of high school and had Nolan in their senior year. They were always on one accord as best friends, even when they started dating. But something just changed, and the love became hostile. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. Eventually she just broke up with him. Milani didn’t even REALLY want to break up. She was seeking validation in their relationship, she wanted to be chased. She just wanted to hear that even though times was hard, they were gonna get through it, as he said so many times before. But when she mentioned a break up, he didn’t fight her, he didn’t fight for her or for their family, he just said “I think that’s best.” She knew maybe she should have never mentioned a break up but she still couldn’t find it in her to chase him, especially if he wasn’t chasing her. Damien knew her like the back of his hand, he knew how much having a family meant to her and for him to just agree to a breakup like that, means that was really how he’d been feeling all along.

Twenty minutes later, Milani pulled into the club parking lot, pulling in next to Adiah’s BMW. The car was fogged out, and she knew her and our other two friends Rhia and Taylor, were probably high as a bunch of kites. She got out of the car and seconds later was knocking on the passenger seat window of the smokey car. The window rolled down and the air filled with smoke.

“My sis Milani popped out, looking like a baddie. Okay!” Her friend Taylor amped her from the passenger seat as she began to see past the cloud of smoke.

“A kid where?” Rhia added on for emphasis smacking her booty from the back seat.

“What is a Damien?” Adiah added from the driver seat. “This is an energyyyy. I’m ready to get lit.” She sang out the passenger window a clear indication of her buzz.

A few drinks in and Milani was feeling nice, happy, euphoric like all the problems in the world had left her head. She truly just wanted to dance and have fun. Henny is the devil’s juice though. One minute you feel on top of the world and the next minute, it got you fucked up.

Ay, big ole freak
Big booty, big ole treat
” Meg Thee Stallion blasted through the speakers. Milani was looking cute and the liquor was really starting to hit her. Before she knew it her ass was being thrown in a circle attracting attention from all over the club. That was definitely something foreign to her, usually only twerking in close proximities with her friends . Liquid courage had her feeling otherwise though, and everyone was loving it. Her friends of course, were gassing her head up causing her to go harder than she ever danced before meeting every beat, and keeping the facial expression and lyrics cute at the same time.

“Ooou girl, he’s looking at you.” Adiah said nudging her after the song went off and she leaned back on the table with their drinks on it. Milani looked around searching the room before her eyes landed on a fine specimen. She had seen him before, but couldn’t put her hand on where exactly. She didn’t know if it was the liquor in her system or if god really took his time with this creature. Once she landed her eyes on him it took her a good two or three seconds to look away. A part of her admiring him and another part of her wondering where she knew him from. He was tall and fit, had to be past 6’4. His arms were cut and he had an olive brown skin tone that looked like it might melt if she touched it.

Oh no no, not today devil, NOT TO-DAY. She thought to herself as she pulled her eyes off of him.

“He’s okay.” Milani fronted. He was fine as hell don’t get her wrong. But she wasn’t ready to entertain anyone yet. She wanted to be alone and get herself together. She didn’t want another man’s energy around her for a long time. Plus, she naturally just played hard to get, a game she perfected always having a boyfriend, turning other men interested in the opposite direction.

“Well better figure out what you’re about to say because he’s walking over here.” Adiah grabbed Taylor and Rhia and pulled them to the bar leaving Milani alone in their section. Bitch. She thought.

“Explain something to me.”

Oh word? He’s coming out the blocks hard.

“I’m sorry not interested.” Yes, she was that girl. He almost looked shocked at her response but Milani wasn’t phased. She liked to make them sweat a little bit. Plus, he was cute but she truly wasn’t interested.

He paused for a moment. “Enjoy your night. Whatever is bothering you, pray on it,” the fine specimen surrendered. When he spoke he revealed the depth in the tone of his voice with every word. She didn’t say anything as he walked away. But she found an interest in how he just read her like that. Was something in her physique, giving off the hint that she was sad? Pray on it? God knows the only thing that had been keeping her sane lately was exactly that, her prayers. She looked back over to where the Fine Specimen was standing with three other handsome young men who she assumed were his friends. He looked over at her once more and nodded his head as if to say Goodnight.

Her being drunk almost caused Milani to stumble over to him and ask what did he want her to explain to him, curious after the fact, ready for the challenge. But her prideful heart beat the alcohol and she remained at the table. Within seconds her friends returned wanting to know the details and she explained it simply.

“Nothing. He was wack. Can someone come to the bathroom with me?”

“I’ll go,” Rhia responded. Rhia was so bad, if Milani was into girls, she would be number one on her list. Tall, Slim, Chocolate, with two dimples that sank into the bottom of her cheeks when she even moved her mouth in the slightest. She was also one of the realist people Milani had ever met. One of the people who continuously checked on her everyday since Damien and her had broken up. A lot of people felt like because Milani didn’t cry or write sad posts, or talk about it at all really, that she wasn’t affected by it. Her real friends knew her better than that though. She could have whatever attitude in the world, they knew the truth, that she was hurt.

The line in the bathroom was delayed, leaving Rhia and Milani around the corner of the bathroom watching people, drunk as hell, experiencing their liquors in different ways. Milani scanned the crowd naturally looking at everyone individually. Something she often did when she was drunk. Her head landed on a couple in a VIP section with 5 or 6 other people. Her mind instantly went to the days when Damien and her used to be in the club together, boo’d up. The boys face was turned to the side as he whispered something in her ear and she laughed uncontrollably. He kissed her on the cheek before turning his face back towards the crowd. Wait, that can’t be. Her mind began to register from the full profile exactly who she was looking at. Suddenly a gut feeling, like she was being stabbed in the chest came over her.

“Is that Damien?” She asked Rhia, her blood beginning to boil within seconds.

“Nah, that is definitely Damien.”

The tension rose all the way to her head, and the Hennessy in her system transformed her instantly. “Here hold this.” She said angrily smashing her bag into her friends abdomen. “I’ll be right back.”

To Be Continued…

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