Blake • Narratives

Losing My Best Friend: A Male Perspective

A Fictional Short Story

It’s like this. Think about a child. When you tell a child not to go into the cookie jar, but place the cookie jar in front of them and then walk away, they are bound to still stick their hands in it. Then when you return, you have two options. You could discipline them heavily, showing them that there are consequences for disrespecting house rules. Or you can yell and scream at them, with no consequences. Which tactic do you honestly believe is more effective? This was exactly how I lost my best friend. She wasn’t my first girlfriend, but she was the only best friend I ever had. I have had women I was cool with, even exclusive. But Bria was more than just a lover. Anything that happened to me, she was the first person I told. She was funny, she was honest, and she was real. She was different than any woman I’d ever met. I knew one day when I got my shit together, I would marry Bria. Bria was my girlfriend for three years, in these three years we were together, I was unfaithful. There were times that I did her so wrong, I knew that she was going to leave me. But she didn’t, she never did, until she actually did. Bria had the most forgiving heart in the world, and I took advantage of her because of that. Anytime I would do her wrong she would cry, and then end up forgiving me. I would never blame her for the reason we aren’t together today, but I will admit I was so used to her forgiving me, I never tried to change my actions. I just tried to hide them better. Bria and I were usually on good terms, that was my best friend. Bria had caught me cheating about 4 or 5 times throughout our 3-year relationship. Each time she would say she was done, but I would be on her heels for a few days, sending flowers to her job, and spoiling her, and she would eventually give in.
It was homecoming weekend. I went to a party, where I met this little shorty, spit game, and easy money, I got her to come back to the crib. She came back and we did our thing, and when it was over she left. 10 minutes or so after she left, I get a call from Bria. My heart was beating a mile a minute. She was crying belligerently and I couldn’t make out anything she was saying. She told me she needed me to come to get her and that was all I needed to hear before I was in the car. I got to her house in about 15-20 minutes. Bria had a lot of family problems that she would vent to me about and I know the type of toll it took on her. There was a point in our relationship where shit was so bad at her house, she was living with me. Her father was abusive to her mother and she felt like she needed to stay there to protect her mother because Bria’s father would never put his hands on Bria. When I pulled in to Bria’s driveway that day though, her eye was blacked. She got in the car and attempted to hide it but I grabbed her chin and forced her in my direction.
“Who did that to you Bria?” She looked worried and fearful to tell me. I knew instantly who did it to her by her silence and before she could even answer I was out of the car knocking on her front door. I rang the doorbell maybe 15 times before Bria’s father opened the door. Before he could even say anything I swung on him my fist connecting to his jawline. He fell back from the momentum and before I could swing again I felt Bria tug from behind me to stop.
“Please let’s just go. It’s not worth it,” She said softly.
Not worth it? Was this girl sick? I would have killed him that day. All I needed was the word. I knew that was still her father at the end of the day. I looked at her pathetic father as he stumbled to the ground and allowed Bria’s tugging to turn me around.
“Touch her again and I swear to god I will kill you.”
We exited out of her house and as we drove back Bria told me what happened. I wanted nothing more than to make her feel better. When we got back to my apartment, I stripped her clothes for her. Ran her a bath and got an ice pack for her eye. When she was done I gave her an old oversized shirt and laid her down. I remember kissing all over her face. That girl was my baby. I would never want to see her hurting like this. The doorbell rang, my roommate was coming home from work and forgot his key. When I left the room, the lights were off and she was under the covers. When I returned Bria was standing up with an eyelash strip in her hand.
“Who’s eyelash is this?” My heart began to beat a mile a minute.
“It’s yours.” I lied. It’s so crazy because at that moment I saw her entire demeanor change as I spoke. She was a beautiful girl who gave off the warmest most sympathetic vibe. But in that instant, I could see it in her eyes, she was cold as ice.
She chuckled. “Oh, they are mine? I don’t wear eyelashes. You know what? I am sick of this shit. Fuck you. You think you any better than my sorry ass father? He blacks my eye and you cheat on the only person who has ever held it down for you. I am done. I don’t wanna hear from you. I don’t want you to call me. I don’t want to see you and that is on Emma’s life.” Emma was the name of Bria and I’s daughter that she miscarried in her third trimester. Bria didn’t even talk about it so I knew she would never put anything on Emma’s life unless she meant it wholeheartedly. That was the most devastating moment of both of our lives. Bria was a soft-spoken girl for the most part. I had only heard her cuss a few times throughout our relationship. I tried to console her but she wouldn’t let me. She called an Uber and she left. Bria and I had never gone a day without talking to each other, and then suddenly it had been weeks. I called her mother, her friends, no matter who I called, she didn’t want to speak to me. I showed up at her job, she refused to see me. Eventually, it sunk in this girl is really done with me.
I never thought the day would come when I would really lose Bria. She was my home. Yeah, I left home sometimes but she was where I rested my head at. That was a toxic mentality because someone who I love and loves me doesn’t deserve that. She was the reason I graduated high school and the reason I was in college today. I was forever indebted to her and she wanted nothing to do with me. I knew cheating was wrong but the way I looked at it was, it’s just sex. I loved Bria, it was so much more than that with her. I wanted to build a future with her. The sex was amazing with Bria. But who do you know that eats the exact same food every single day? It sounds crazy, but no matter how much you love someone, sometimes you just want to try something new. At least that’s what I thought. I didn’t realize till she really left me that if she came back I wouldn’t even eat another woman’s meal if she prepared it.
The hardest part about breaking up with Bria was the way she glowed up after me. Bria was always gorgeous and headstrong. When I looked at her pictures now though, she looked powerful and confident. Months had gone past and I found myself still trying to reach out to her, with little to no response.
One day after class me and my guys were chilling when my bro Brandon brought something to my attention. “You see Bria’s new boyfriend?” I swear my heart dropped when I heard those two words together. Bria’s new what? How could she possibly have a new man already? Brandon showed me his phone and it was a picture of Bria taken from another person at a dinner table. She looked gorgeous, she looked happy. She was looking down at the food on her plate with a smile plastered on her face. A year later Bria was pregnant. Two years later Bria was married. I never received proper closure from that situation but what I did learn is that women will love you and tolerate you until they don’t anymore. It might not come right away, but it will come. The karma of fucking over an amazing woman is having to watch her be amazing to another man.

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