Blake • Counsel

Relationships are never perfect. It’s natural to argue and not agree with one another. However, there is a fine line between a healthy relationship and a toxic one. Here are 10 signs your relationship is toxic:

1.You spend the majority of your time arguing. Arguing is inevitable when you spend so much time with a person. However, a relationship is supposed to be spent cherishing and enjoying the person you are with. If majority of your time spent together involves negative energy, toxicity is occurring.

2. Most of your disagreements end in one or both of you screaming. I am pretty sure we have all gotten into arguments that ended ten volumes higher than it started. When this becomes a habit though, it is definitely toxic. A yelling match is an extreme sign of anger that shouldn’t be displayed on a regular basis.

3.You often call each other out of your names when you are arguing. This is never okay. When you call someone out of their name, especially in anger you are showing one of two things. You are either, showing how you really feel about the other person or saying anything to hurt their feelings.

4.Your arguments are resolved by having sex. Make up sex is cool… until it’s not. If you can’t sit down and resolve your problems with a conversation that ends in a conclusion, that’s toxic behavior. Make up first, have sex after.

5. You are starting to resent their presence. If you find yourself subconsciously pointing out their flaws even when they aren’t doing anything, that is a problem. If the person enters the room and your energy shifts in a negative way of any sort, RUN.

6. There is no trust between one another. It sucks that I have to be the one to say it, but it has to be said. A relationship without trust isn’t a relationship. I am not saying put all your faith into your partner, but you should have a general security in your relationship. If every time they announce they are going out, you get worried, it’s probably a sign you don’t trust them. If you don’t trust them then you will never be 100% comfortable.

7.Communication is lacking or not present. A big problem in most relationships, toxic or not is communication. If you can’t talk to your partner openly, about any and everything, your relationship will never be productive.

8.You are scared of them. Whether it be you are scared to say something wrong or scared to do something wrong, you should never be scared of someone you are in a relationship with. This is supposed to be the one person who puts you at ease. You should stay away from anyone, who leaves you in uneasiness.

9. You have had physical altercations. Once the argument becomes physical, you begin to leave toxic and are entering the domestic violence realm. If arguing is not enough, you have to place hands on one another, to try and inflict pain on them, that’s dysfunctional. It’s normal to be angry enough to want to hit somebody. But to actually hit someone out of anger is purely toxic.

10. Jealousy is present. People often don’t address the fact that your partner can be jealous of you even in a heterosexual relationship. If it feels like you are constantly competing with one another instead of supporting each other’s accomplishments, jealousy is in the air. Your partner is supposed to be your biggest fan, anything positive that you do they are supposed to support and vise versa.

11. Nobody apologizes. Apologies go a long way because it shows that someone is remorseful for what was said or done. It gives you a sense of closure in rough situations. If no apology is given, and you just move on without addressing the wrong doings, there is no growth.

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